A Five Way Hole

My day yesterday started innocently enough, I went to work and realized where I left my bottle of jerk-off lotion.

Oh snap, there you are!

Work went by reasonably well and I actually got everything caught up which is actually impressive.  However, Monday is going to be the day of reckoning because I've got 4 days off in a row and fear for the worst.  I tried to make my life as easy as possible for this coming Monday by shooting out a series of emails to management in order to help the office keep pace of where it should be.  It's probably asking a lot, but I'm hoping for even a minor amount of help while I am away so that I do not come back to angry customers.  Only time will tell.

As evening approached I really needed something to do and decided to hit up a quick poker session. Not knowing exactly where I wanted to go I hit the interstate and just drove until I either ran out of real estate or my car veered towards one of the casinos.  My stop ended up being the Mirage.

Mirage was not nearly as busy as I was hoping for but when I showed up there was an open seat at two different 1/2 NL games and I choose the one with the only player that I recognized - Poker Muffin.

Some of you might recognize that nick/handle/whatever and others might not.  I don't think she reads the circle of blogs and as such I don't expect her to freely stumble up on this, however I have been playing poker with her since 2006 I do believe.

She was one of the original crew that became regulars at the Treasure Island that included prominent members of the AVP community and founding members of the (now defunct) VPN community.  It's always nice when I'm out and about and I run into friendly people and get to catch up.  Last night was a great night.

So, I chose my seat at her table and between her and I is another Pittsburgh Steelers who's wearing a hat showing off the best spots logo there is.  He was a great guy from LA who happened to run like ass most of the night but took everything in stride and generally had a good time.  A while later we were also joined by two of Poker Muffins friends - one a dealer and one a cocktail waitress.

Before the two other friends joined us we kicked off the table in great fun fashion, a round of drinks.

Fuck Yeah!

Our side of the table had 4 Jager Bomb's and the other side had a couple of random shots that were much more girly than good-old-fashioned-fuck-you-up-quick-Jager-Bombs!  Either way, the shots went down quick and the beer started coming and a fun evening was in the making.

I started off my poker session with a gamble (anyone who has played with me recently knows that this is really nothing new and some would say it's probably a big leak).  There was a small raise to $7 or similar and a caller or two so I got in there with 57d then there was a short stack push for $43 or so and another short stack push for $60.  It folded back to me and I put both on big cards and just waiting to get their money in.  There was one other player who almost pushed but ended up folding and after my call he said he folded A9s.
The flop came out Ax9 and of course both Shorties have Ax for the last ace to hit the flop.  On the turn I had straight and flush draw outs but nothing came and I mucked without showing.  Nothing exciting happened for a while on my end.

Early in the session PM was telling about her friend who has a 5 way headphone adapter so that others can listen to his music as well and we started talking about how we should have a session with one of those and just have everyone in one corner jam out.  This is when she blurted out "I really need to get a 5-way hole."
Oh yes, with alcohol, fun and lowered inhibitions the night was on!

After all the friends had taken a seat at the table more fun started to be had.  There was one pot that I won about $200 off of one of the ladies and a little while later she was talking to me about the hand and saying how she couldn't get away with it and never expected me to have what I had.  She wasn't bitter about it but said that if she had won she definitely would have tipped better.
I will admit that while I in no way stiffed the dealer she was by far the best tipper at the table.  Next time that she is at the table with me and I win a buy-in off of her I will make a point of tipping better and letting the dealer know it's from the lady in the xxx seat!!

Before getting off to my climatic ending I'll give a little detail about my session.
It started with a $60 gamble that did not pay off.
I raised early and often at this table, doing so mostly in increments of  $7 which was an accident until I realized it and then I just kept it up for most of the night. After losing my $60 I then proceeded to beat out Poker Muffin in a hand where I turned top 2 and she got away from my river bet by narrowing down my holdings to one of 3 hands - 2 of which she lost two and once she split with.

Buy-in #1 disappeared when I rivered a straight in a horribly bloated pot against two weak players but the flush also hit on the river. The bet (and call by another player) was such that I just felt I couldn't fold because of the size of the pot.  I was right in the fact that the guy who bet down I had beat - however the caller did hit the flush on the river and proceeded to slow roll me and royally piss me off because of it.
After I called the bet on the river the guy in 1st position said "Any flush will take it down, I have a set" and flipped over his cards.  Next guy just sat there looking like a tool and I tried to end the action by saying I hit the straight and flipped my cards over.
Other guy still sat there until the dealer showed my straight on the board and then looked at his hand for about 15-20 seconds before turning over his rivered flush.
I know I uttered a comment that was NSFW and that the dealer could have actually warned me about, but nothing happened and I went to my wallet to generically make my stack larger.

By the way, the dealers on this evening were awesome, especially Alaskagirl!  We got away with a lot of shit said at the table that some other dealers and some other rooms would have warned us about multiple times before asking us to leave.  So - to that end I'd like to give a big thank you because this table was bloody fun but we didn't actually get out of hand. We were just enjoying the evening.

A bit later I hit a set and stacked someone but then proceeded to give a good portion of it back when that person called my PFR, then my flop bet with top pair average kicker and was nice enough to turn two pair.  Whatevs.

Most of the evening I sat with a stack around $200 and a buy-in twice that and actually after a while learned the gentle art of folding pre-flop.  Finally I got into a hand where I called a raise (pot odds yo) because everyone else did as well with 45 offsuit.  It was $10 and there were 7 others in the pot at this point so my small blind hand decided to just come along.
Flop K45 with two diamonds and I yell out bingo (in my head - out loud would have been rude).
I check, PFR checks and chick who two paired me bets out $20.  Maybe a caller and maybe two but I raise it to $60 and when it folds to her she insta pushes.  This took me back because it was difficult to put her on a hand.  She could have easily flopped a set but I discounted that because I was holding two of her outs.  She could have hit a random two pair (suited cards, the kids like them) and she could have been top pair flush draw.  I wasn't sure but I belched out a call and turned my hand over.  She flipped her AKs over and I thought it was TPTKFD but it was only back door flush draw because I misread the board.  The turn was a blank and the river boated me and now I'm back to even.
A bit later I raise and everyone on a 3 table radius calls me.  I flop a flush draw and put in a re-raise when someone bets into me and we are down to 3 handed.  Turn puts the flush out and a guy bets into me so I smooth call and the last guy to act decides he wants all of his chips in the middle.
The guy who bet into me thought about it for-fucking-ever and finally decided to fold.  I announce that I have the current nuts and can't figure out how to fold so I put my chips in.  My A high flush is bigger than his Jack high flush so I get a pile of chips being pushed to me.
I asked the other guy what he had and he said top pair and Flush Draw to the Q.  Oh why did he pick that moment to learn to fold.  BOOO!

Either way, I now was showing a profit and when I racked up I was still showing a profit.  Good times.

Now that the poker portion of our broadcast is over it's back to some minor story telling.

5 way hole and a fun gal!

Drinking and having fun PM's friend with the 5 way hole shows up and she gets excited.  So, he whips it out to show us and next thing you know there are 5 of us all plugged in and Jamming to Michael Jackson songs.
1st song is Dirty Diana and I then put in a request for Smooth Criminal.  At the end of this long (approaching on Rob long) post I'll link up to a bunch of the songs that the 5 of us jammed to while pretending to still care about the poker game.  After the two MJ songs it became a game of pass the adapter so we could take turns picking songs for people to listen to.  It was a goddamned blast.

As the night was winding down someone played I kissed a girl and PM's one friend started talking about how she has kissed many girls but has a friend who promised if she ever kissed a girl that she would allow her to be her first.  Then it turned to how PM really wanted to make out with her and this song was a subtle hint.  After a few other song references that I threw in there stating that it would make the hint more obvious (Take Me Home Tonight) everyone was cracking up.

However, a song or two later PM decided to pipe in with "I've had enough of this and I'm doing it solo right now.  I'm not kissing a girl and I'm unsure about cock."
Laughter - the best medicine!!
The cock comment was reference to an earlier song that she didn't particlularly like that used the word "dick" a lot, however she - in her drunken stupor (joking) - just associated the word cock with the song instead of dick.  Simple mistake.

It was a f'n blast and I showed a profit.  What more can I ask? Also, as I was racking up my chips my alarm went of - which meant that I had officially been up for 24 hours.
I got home and took out Monster and took a nap.  3 hours later he woke me up to piss again and I'm assuming I'll need a nap very shortly or I'll be in bed pretty early tonight!

Songs played for our poker table 5-way (in no particular order).

It was an MJ themed night with other stuff mixed in that I don't remember quite as well!

Stay thirsty my friends.
I stole the "woman said" label from Rob for 2 or 3 quotes used above.  I thought he'd enjoy that.