Lightning is a Dirty Tease

The other night at the AVP gathering I had the pleasure of running into Lightning who I have played with before at Bally's before we ever knew each other existed in an online sort of blogging fashion.  While he has slimmed down since the last time I saw him and started growing a ridiculous mustache it was generally a nice meeting until he decided to be a tease.
He told me that he has a grrouchie story and made it appear as though it was something outrageous and would not share it with me. He said it would probably take a few beers in him to let the cat out of the bag or whatever.  He then went off and drank with the ex and still did not share.

So, my curiosity is gotten because I'm a man of very very very few secrets and pretty much everything in my life I'm willing to freely admit to.
So, here is a list of some shit that has happened to me or that I have done that might be considered embarrassing to some or maybe just topics that most wouldn't bother to talk about outside of their priest or their prostitute (tit for tat).

I would appreciate everyone to encourage Lightning to share his grrouchie tale as I love when people tell a good story about me!

1 - I met Lindy99 at the AVP meeting and he confided in me that he absolutely loved my "Do your feet smell" joke (this, as Rob would say is a vagina mentioning).
2 - I was born a skinny white child with a small penis - Only my waist line has grown.
3 - A small black dog once bit the head of my penis and lived to bark about it.
4 - For about 8-10 years I wore skirts and fishnets on a regular basis.5 - I went to my senior prom in a dress.
5.1 -  My mom stuffed my bra, my hair was done up in a french twist with baby's breath and my combat boots were killer.
5.2 - My date was one of my best friends (a guy).
6 - I first got laid when I was 15 - my 3rd time when I was 22.
7 - I have been snowballed, I am quite salty.
8 - I was involved in a Devil's 4-some. (kinda sorta).
9 - I've been jerked off by a stripper
10 - I once told a young kid that his mom was dead and not coming home (I was probably 7 at the time, he was 4-5).
11 - I've visited a AMP
12 - I (twice) rubbed my breasts on my college roommates head in a public setting when he was not expecting it.
13 - My 1st roommate and her boyfriend often had very loud sex, while I was trying to sleep in the same room.  I once got up and made popcorn in the middle of their session - they did not stop.
14 - I smoked pot twice, I got very paranoid and drank 2 gallons of Kool-Aid
15 - A friend on FaceBook said he needed some titties to cheer him up, I obliged.

15 is good enough for now - How can you top a breast shot?