R.I.P. Twinkies
Listen guys - I just need to get this shit off my chest.
I woke up this morning to find out that my beautiful healthy snack food of choice has died.
Somebody murdered the Twinkie (and a whole lot of other shit that Hostess produced, but lets stay focused here).
This is no doubt another Victim of Obamacare and the fact that this Hitler like president got re-elected. This shit would not have happened if we would have elected Romney.
Sure, women would lose the right to actually be anything but a cum receptacle but we'd still have the fucking Twinkies and that means something to this poor fat man in Vegas.
Screw you Obama - Next time I'm Voting Your Ass Out!!!
In other news, I hear someone is going to be asking for a divorce.
1. You couldn't vote him out -- term limits you know.
ReplyDelete2. Twinkies will still be sold. Possibly by another company after this goes to full receivership.
3. Worst case scenario won't occur. The storage site for nuclear waste has instead been filled with Hostess Twinkies which have a shelf life approaching a millennium.
4. The bad news is that evil, Wall Street Fat Cats own the nuclear waste site and Twinkies and will charge $22.50 per dual goodness.
BTW, love the animated sperm at the top. Motility demo is superb.
ReplyDeleteThanks Ken - Hopefully you fed my sperm and kept them happy!!
DeleteI was only half kidding Waffles - Fucking Fat Kat Union assholes ruined Hostess
ReplyDeleteHere is a good article that I did not have the common sense to link to in the article (but it would have ruined my intentions to fake bitch about Obama)
http://www.thenewamerican.com/reviews/opinion/item/13669-no-more-twinkies-unions-and-the-death-of-hostess
I just KNEW there was SOMETHING that would get your ass politically motivated. I admit, I thought it would have something to do with tits, but awesome junk food would have been my next guess.
ReplyDeleteMy assumption is that whatever political party can guarantee you Twinkies for life will have your vote forever.
HA!
DeleteNot necessarily true.
My Twinkies consumption over the years is very low for a guy of my stature.
However, after my appointment today I am hitting up the closest 7-11 and buying 3 packs.
1 to eat
1 to squish out on the sidewalk with my boots
1 to put on a shelf to stay there forever along with my can of Surge soda from 1997 that has the beer nipple on it.
truth be told, unions have ruined this country almost as bad as obama, they too have killed a lot of entry level jobs. maybe if obama and unions wasnt ruining our country, i wouldnt be able to use that as a good reason to not look for work.
ReplyDeletetruthfully, had i still a decent bankroll, i could survive at poker forever without ever needing to work, i just get a little nervous when im this low and start panicking about how ill come up with money, since ive not been this broke since i was many years younger. if i had a safe free place to live for a month, i might be able to come back just playing $5 sngs online. but first i should deposit $100 if im going to play $5 instead of $2
Had people known this was coming, it probably changes the outcome of the election...
ReplyDeleteGood point coach.
DeleteWe Bailed out general motors, Why not hostess?
mugga fugga
My vote would have been worthless anyway since Nevada went Obama.
ReplyDelete