Some days are better than others.
Trying to turn eating better into a habit was difficult. In fact it's still difficult at times.
Trying to turn exercise into a habit is awful. Bloody awful.
I'm not a fitness guy and I never will be. I've been overweight most of my life and I'm cool with that. But I'm at a point in my life where I have to strive to be better for myself and my family. I can't just sit around and stay fat because it doesn't matter. I've got a future wife and kid to think about and we want to have another one. Those are the one's I'm ultimately doing this for.
I've already got genetics fighting against me as I'm "genetically predisposed to heart attacks and strokes" which was the polite way for the doctor to tell me to get off my fat ass and get healthier.
Over a year and a half later every day is still a struggle. A struggle to find the motivation to keep exercising. A struggle to find the motivation to keep eating healthy. A struggle to find the motivation to NOT open that bag of chips and just chow down.
I started this journey when I stepped on a scale and it read 303.
Today I woke up and hopped on the scale before taking my shower and it read 217.
This past week I threw away all of my fat pants and shorts. All of them. I now only own 5 pairs of shorts for work and need to buy a few pairs of paints for when the weather gets a little chilly.
Two days ago I gave a lady at work all of my fat shirts (3XL and 2XL) for her husband. I'm down to a handful of shirts I recently bought for work and some fun T-shirts for my days off and for the gym (though, in reality they are going to be 2 sizes too big soon).
I'm slowly emptying out my closet.
I've come a long way on this journey and I've still got a ways to go.
When I have moments of doubt and weakness I try to picture what I want myself to look like on my wedding day for my wife and family. What I want to look like when I am immortalized by camera flashes from all of my friends and family and professional photographers on this ever so important day of my life.
I envision myself on a beach in Hawaii for my honeymoon and I remind myself what I looked like a few months ago when I was half naked on a beach in California during our Disney trip.
What I looked like then and what I want to look like are two entirely different things - this drives me back to the gym.
I realize my lady loves me for who I am and if I stayed at this weight she'd be perfectly happy for me and with me. But, in reality, I want to look better for her. I want to feel better for her. I want to live a long and fruitful life with her by my side.
I've gone 4 days in a row with over 10k steps (all over 12k actually).
I've gone 2 days in a row with over 15k steps (all over 16k actually).
Today I forced myself to hit the gym after coming home at 11pm just so I could make all of my daily numbers.
I want to be at or under 215 by the 21st. 212 by the 27th. 210 in early October!
I might need a vial or two of crack :)
grrouch out
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ReplyDeleteConnrgrats. That's quite an accomplishment takes alot of determination to keep at it for that long. I try not to get too fixated on actual numbers. When you build muscle it weighs more but you are actually in better shape then if you weighed less but had less muscle. Whatever you're doing its working. Don't get frustrated trying to reach a particular weight goal.
ReplyDeleteThat's awesome that you got to get rid of your old cloths. I am finding that all of my pants are too big. My belt needs another notch in it to hold the pants up. They are the same ones I bought when I was 240. I may have to do some shopping before I come out to Las Vegas.
ReplyDeleteOne of your best posts! Its always good to have outside motivation when you have days when you just don't want to do it...that drive will get you to your goals...congrats!
ReplyDeletelike i said b4 and tatude siad in his or her comment. DONT get fixated on a number. just keep grinding and enjoy life, sir.if u get to fixated it bcomes an obsession and that isnt good like ppl that get to many plastic surgeries.
ReplyDeleteYeah -- I hear you. I used to participate in sports all the time, but exercising just to exercise or lose weight never interested me much. Keeping motivated is difficult sometimes.
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